Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
