And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
