Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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