Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
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It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
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I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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