WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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