Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize