i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
