If that was your dad, he is hot
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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