glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize