it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
