You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
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