I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
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Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
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Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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