anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
