i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
