How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
