Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
