my soul wont recognize me after tonight
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
