I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
