tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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