Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
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