The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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