Hey man sorry I got all grabby
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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