Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The convent might be a nice break from real life
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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