You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
