Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
