I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude i'm inner monologue high
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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