Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
