oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
