Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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