what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Its about making memories worth repressing
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
