there was a trapeze. enough said
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You ate ashes out of my bong
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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