Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
BRING THE BAGELS
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
