Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
