I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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