so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
