Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
