but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
