nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
