Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
