tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
