Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
