She said her name was "party"
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You are the jesus of drinking
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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