please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We got so high we made milksteak
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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