Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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