after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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