This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
