so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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