yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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