69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
