oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
