bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize