hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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