Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
