She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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