TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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