I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
