its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
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I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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