I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
