no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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