Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
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