Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
