Kiss
Puke
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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