Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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