At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
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A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
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Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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