Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
