Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm both gender and math confused
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
