tonight lets celebrate not being married
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
